Becoming an Expressive Arts Therapist
Graduation day June 2024
This weekend I graduated from Vancouver Art Therapy institute with a Diploma in Expressive Arts Therapy. It feels really good to type those words.
A couple of years ago, after my great awakening when the realities of racism, sexism, capitalism and all the other isms I’ve been blocking out my whole life came crashing down, my therapist dumped me. Up until that moment, we had mainly been discussing my relationship issues, and all of a sudden I wanted to talk about my identity and how my world was changing and this woman who had been holding space for me on and off for almost 2 years could no longer do so. It was painful and confusing and more than triggered my anxious attachment tendencies. I didn’t know how to talk to my white friends without the fear of offending somebody and I didn’t think it was fair to burden my POC friends with my messy processing. So many things were changing with my new lens, I felt like everything I knew was being challenged and I really didn’t know where to turn. She ended our relationship gently and ethically and of course I am glad she was honest about her capacity, but it stung. I felt like I was too much. I found support in the end, but the search for a therapist that ticks all the boxes is a continuous one for me.
I could relay here the contents of my admissions essay about all the reasons why I wanted to apply for the expressive arts programme at Vancouver Art Therapy Institute but it;s really long so I'll paraphrase; After a bunch of self work and inward reflection, unblocking and beginning to work through all that yummy suppressed trauma through art making and new rich connections, I circled back to the possibility of studying Art Therapy and started researching what expressive arts therapy is. It is something I had been thinking about since graduating from art college in 2010 and now I had a thought- should I just become the therapist I’d like to see?
Day 1 of Expressive Arts Therapy School
I didn’t feel very good when I left Art college. I wanted to do a project about my identity and I felt a fire in my belly I had never experienced before. I believed my passion would drive my ideas forward but instead they were dismissed and I was encouraged to go in a direction I didn’t feel true to at all. Although they were some of the best years of my life, I feel like my soul got slightly damaged. I felt unsupported and unseen and I left with a shiny degree but a very deflated sense of confidence and self worth. There were some other things that confused me about art school too. Like the fact that we were expected to plan our art pieces and write the meaning before they were complete. It didn’t make sense to me. I thought surely the meaning emerges after the art and so many things can change along the way.
Graduating from EXA school was entirely different. At last, I found a practice that honours the unknown emergent, that appreciates high sensitivity and celebrates the transformative power of creativity. It was so special getting to know my cohort and discover all the ways in which expressing in my full spectrum was powerful and appreciated. My practicums were magical experiences and I am full to the brim with gratitude for everything I have learned. I know that the journey is only beginning and there is so much still to learn. I’m excited to see where it takes me. I didn’t need a piece of paper to confirm the beliefs I already had inside me but it sure did help me to see. I feel relief, I feel joy, I feel such incredible pride in myself. I feel home.
