I’ve learned a lot about myself lately and as it's having an effect on the art I produce. I heard someone describe alignment recently as a state where the person you want to be and the person you are are the same- where what you think, say and do are one in the same. It has made me feel slightly frustrated and removed from my artwork because while the work I have made up until now came out of me for a reason, I feel like it is an incorrect representation of where I am now.
I made a joke to my friends the other day that this is the year I came out as black but that's what it feels like. I’m discovering a whole new world and community I never sought to connect with before. I thought I was too light skinned to be part of the black community and too dark to feel like I fully belonged to the white community too. It turns out I can be part of both and this feels special.
Having the tools to make art makes me feel a responsibility to share work that is authentic and to give something to other people through this. Sharing can also feel cathartic and healing and I really do believe it is a two way street. I have so many ideas and the creativity has been bubbling inside me for the past few months. It's exciting and I want to do and say everything all at once and have my social media aligned as I meet new people and a selling platform ready to go if someone likes my work, I want feel that euphoria of completing something I’ve worked on and feel proud about, I want to have it all together and have a portfolio of work that is ready to present and put everything out into the world so I can heal and move into the next thing. But even though I have prioritized art time in my week, I still have to work and do chores and spend time with friends and do therapy and exercise and self care and most importantly, allow myself to breathe.
So I don’t have it all together and my website is now at the same stage it was at a year ago but I will be slowly updating it as my life updates. I hope to use this blog as a platform to share my feelings about my relationship with my art as I’m finding it hard to shrink myself to the 2200 characters that Instagram allows. It will likely be inconsistent but I will do my best and remember to breathe. I am open to questions or offers and will always respond to messages and enquiries even if it is not straight away. Thank you for being here with me.